Friday, July 9, 2010
The Rob Retreat
Is real life dragging you down? Is that pesky job keeping you from your favorite fanfiction update? Is your significant other nagging you for attention? Are the kids begging for dinner while you’re trying to watch Oprah again? Then escape it all at The Rob Retreat. Located on beautiful Isle Esme, The Rob Retreat offers the busy Robsessed woman the opportunity to enjoy all the Robsessing you can handle.
The week-long, all inclusive resort offers such amenities as unlimited wi-fi, open bar including Stoli Vodka and Heinekin, a midnight chocolate buffet, and an appearance by the Brit Pack playing all your favorite Rob, Bobby, Sam and Marcus tunes. Widescreen HDTV located throughout the resort play Rob movies and interviews On Demand. Pamper yourself in our resort spa with one of our specialty massages offered with hot oil (The Rob) or soothing cool (The Edward). Interact with other women sharing your Robsession by participating in one of our Fetish Support group meetings for those focused on (insert list of every body part and mannerism of Rob). Learn how to manage your Robsession upon returning to the real world at our workshops on “Making it Look Like you Cleaned all Day when you Really Stared at Rob Pix” and “Out in the Open or On the Down Low – What Type of Robsession fits YOUR lifestyle?”
Shop at our gift shop where you can purchase your very own Stoli t-shirt, Essence of Rob cologne, and the CD “Talk Dirty to Me Rob” which includes our all time favorites, “pussy”, “ambrosia”, and “nat-chos.” Or take home a bottle of the Island’s very own Hobo Wine. We even carry the difficult to find, Rumple Rob Doll, designed by SpunkMe. Practice your fine motor skills by lacing and tying/untying his Nike’s, zip/unzip his hoodie, and button/unbutton his buttonfly jeans. Be careful not to disturb Mr. Patty!
And when you’ve hit Rob overload: your private suite includes your very own hobo, glitter lube and a complete supply of RobPorn including GQ and Vanity Fair. Plug in your bedside headphones and listen to Rob’s sexy, smooth voice lull you to sleep as he reads Twilight, and in the morning awaken to find yourself covered in feathers.
LOL this was too cute !
what I wouldn't give for this to be real !!
I've always looked at my husband as my
'rob sub' and by me being four months pregnant I pray my baby is not a 'demon spawn' lol
LOVED THIS WHOLE POST!!!!
From the Stoli Vodka to the private suite filled with Rob Porn
[SIGH]
Talk about a perfect day of Rest && Relaxation
OMG that was hilarious
:D good job ladies!
-annie156
Sign me up!!! lol I thought this post was funny…loved the "talk Dirty to me" CD with all of our fave Robism's..like Nat-chos…gah i love him! Where can I buy a Rumpled Rob doll…lmao!! Yea we ladies can definatly dream…thank god we have each other to work through our obsession with..lol.. awesome post Smom!! <3
Seriously, book me a suite for the weekend!! Hilarious (and pervilicious) post as usual Smom. <3 u!
Too funny! Hey, I'm in!! That sounds heavenly!
What a fantastic post! You had me LOL'ing big time…and of course my imagination was also going a million miles per hour! Sign me up…this gives "R&R;" a whole new meaning: "Rob&Rob;"
I just can't get enough of Robert…or is it RAWbert?! ;D
Cheers,
Nina
Can i live their please??????????????
<3
Ahhh if only this was real!
I really need to attend the "Making it Look Like you Cleaned all Day when you Really Stared at Rob Pix" workshop. My husband asked me what I did today when he came home from work and all I could say was "Uhhhh… the usual"
So hilarious!!! I don't know how I missed this before but it had me rolling!! How I wish this was real
Thanks for making me feel better today! I love your blog 