Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Robsten. Rob and Kristen. That’s the primary reason for many of us to have found RobstenLove.com, and is the key motivation to stay, contribute, and share experiences. This post will not be some kind of pontification on the progression of their relationship as I have deduced it to have evolved – there are timelines on the Web that do a better job at it and plenty of members on the forum who could school me on the finer details. Instead, I will focus on some vignettes of their story that are more or less publicly confirmed and discuss, perhaps on a bit more philosophical level, how they conduct themselves in public, the reasons why we are intrigued by their relationship, and some of the undesirable side-effects it has brought to light in the fandom.
Before going any further, I should confess that I’m no hardcore Robsten shipper. I’m excited about the fact that they’re together, but were they to break-up tomorrow it wouldn’t be the end of the world for me. When I became interested in Twilight, and Kristen Stewart specifically, I checked Wikipedia and it listed Michael Angarano, that guy who co-starred with her in Speak, as her boyfriend. I didn’t really think twice about it, not having been exposed to the Robsten phenomenon at that point. Why I’m mentioning this is due to my appreciation of his discretion and my discomfort when coming across posts making fun at his expense. In a world where selling out your ex to the tabloids is more the norm than the exception, he has been a veritable saint. So hat’s off to you, Mike.
Soon after exhausting the more or less verifiable sources, I started hitting various blogs and Twitter accounts, coming across pictures and videos of Rob and Kristen together in Twilight related promotional events, and of course the rumors of their involvement. Being the researcher that I am, I decided to take an objective stance on the issue. The list of evidence was so staggering: the eye-fucking during press events, the brief touches when they assume the cameras aren’t catching it, interview comments, and candid photos. To this day I cannot understand why some people are so adamant it’s nothing but a showmance, or a fuck-buddy arrangement, or that one of them is gay and the other one is covering for it. Ockham’s razor states that when having competing hypotheses, it is recommended to select the one that introduces the fewest assumptions. In my opinion, in this case the fewest assumptions lie in them being a couple. While Ockham’s razor is not an irrefutable method of scientific discovery, it works well enough for me.
So why does their relationship intrigue me – interest me to the extent that I spend hours investigating it and now writing this post? I have to confess I’m still in the process of figuring it out myself, but I believe it’s a combination of a few key things: their intense chemistry on and off screen, their personalities and approach to the media frenzy, and what their relationship represents.
When I watched Twilight the first time I was pretty impressed at the chemistry between them, and little did I know that it was far from acting. Witnessing the sparks in videos and photos sort of makes one envious and happy at the same time. Envious because of hopes to someday experience something similar oneself, and happy in a very basic, human way that they are experiencing it. The third feeling I associate with them is pride in how well and maturely they go about the whole thing. They refuse to play into expectations and slather details about their relationship across the tabloids. And finally, although I do not want to idolize their relationship beyond the mortal realm, it does represent in a tangible way that if two young people in the eye of a hurricane are able to reconcile their work, media attention, and external pressure to have a normal relationship, then maybe us lesser folks could also aspire to something similar. This aspect may be different for those Robsten fans that are happily married or in a long term relationship.
Both Kristen and Rob have commented in interviews how it’s hard to get around in public because the second they’re identified, it’ll end up plastered on Twitter, pictures will be posted online, and the paparazzi will be on their asses within minutes. I wonder what I’d do myself if I were to happen across these two somewhere (as remote as that possibility is). I’d like to think that I could respect their wish for privacy and keep my distance, letting them go about their business. And this wish extends to the rest of us fans. I know there’s great temptation to snap pictures and then race online to squee and share your awesome story, but if you think about it for a minute – it would go totally against the thing you’re professing to be a fan of.
I’ve spoken in almost reverent tones of my appreciation for their relationship and what it represents. Having said that, I’m acutely aware of the fact that no relationship is infallible and they may well break up at some point. But I also know that it will have no significance to my own life, or my own relationships. And conversely, nothing I do, say, wish, or hope for has any bearing on how their life unfolds. This is why it pains me to see fans become obsessed and invested on the ideal of Robsten to the point where it’s almost pathological. It’s fun and interesting to discuss their work, drool over their fabulous photoshoots, and speculate about the rumors, but let’s all work towards keeping RobstenLove.com as a place where that exchange of thoughts is on a healthy level – for the sake of our own peace of mind and that of the staff.
Posted by Kerensky at 12:02 am
Tags: Eye Sex, It Is SO ON, Kristen Stewart, More Than Just Friends, Rob Pattinson, Robsten, So Happy Together, Unicorns
Awesome post Kerensky! I remember the first time I noticed R&K;'s off screen chemistry…I immidiatly started googling interviews and photoshoots to see how they behaved around one another. I was instantly intrigued. Their level of comfort and their intimate moments when they are in their own little bubble were so obvious very early on. I don't understand those that don't see it..as it is plain as day to me…but who am I to judge other peoples insanity
Above all else I wish the best for Rob and Kristen because they have shown time and time again that they don't and won't conform to the hollywood stigma…and that is why I am a fan of theirs individually…them being together and in love is just gravy!
Nice post as usual
Thank you. Very much agree with everything you wrote.
this is an enlightening post, i can say i am an obsessed fun of robsten but i do respect and love them. i think what every fun should know is that they are also human beings that needs to be respected.i wish and pray that robsten will be forever. God bless!
Very well said. I'm a big fan of Kristen and quite obsessive to the idea of Robsten love. I hope I could adjust if once day they broke up. They are both young and have a long way to go. But I truely wish they could work out and be everlasting in inspite of the huge external pressure.
Mon
Wonderful post, K! A man's interest in this fandom always intrigues me so thank you for explaining yours. And just because you say you're no hardcore shipper doesn't mean I have to agree.
hear hear!! altho… i still cant help but hope they end up married with babies! LOL but what K said is definitely why I got hooked to their "relationship". As much as its impossible for me to see them in person, I cant promise not to ask for pictures but I can definitely promise not to post it online…
being supportive fans lets make them feel as normal as possible!! kudos!
You did a great job trying to explain why this relationship has such a strong effect on people. I've never been concerned about other famous couples but for the reasons you list, Robsten is just special.
Thanks for sharing.
Well said, K. It looks like a lot of us have had the same start. We love them because of the way they make us feel.
But, I do have to highlight the point you made at the end. I think it's so important to recognize that these are young people, in love, and trying very hard to just live their lives. I can't imagine the kind of pressure they're under, day in and day out. I'd hope that, as fans, we would give them that breathing room and the ability to have as normal of a life as possible.
Dana
Well said. Usually if we put our parents as a role model in relationships trust me it will last. Hope dats wat R&K; will achieve. They r uniquely strong and charismatic individuals.
Sometimes I doubt them ,because the speculation of their romance ;when I do the proof of them being together shows up. but really its`their lives. I respect their privacy and wish others did too!
I agree so much with the MA issue. Personally, I like Michael. He seems like a really sweet guy and doesn't deserve all this hate that he's getting. What a well written blog post, once again.
Once again I am totally with you. And I actually asked myself the same question today: would I snap pictures and put them online? And the answer was a big NO bc these two have so much to stand up to already I wouldn't want to give them anything more to stress about.
Great post as usual, Kerensky. You pretty much said it all. I love hearing this from a man's pov. I've never " shipped " a famous couple before but there is something so special about Rob and Kristen that I can't help but root for them! It seems to me that they are getting through the shark infested waters without being eaten alive. It also seems that they have found a balance. Here's hoping that continues and that they will remain happy and of course together!
I just want to thank you for what you said about Michael. It´s exactly what I think and I hate it when people attack him just cause he once dated Kristen.
wow! This is perfect! Great job.. I feel the same way about them!
Excellent post Kerensky, and well written as always
I am also in complete agreement with what you said about Mr. Angarano. It drives me fucking nuts when I see people making fun of him.
I appreciate your post very much. Especially the last part–where you said that nothing we do or say or wish or fight over or obsess over–will affect their lives or their relationship. This helps me keep things in perspective.
The things that drew you to them are the same for me as well. (And I apply Occam's Razor a lot!)
- Ian
That was a tremendous job of analysis. And spot on. Something I mentioned to my wife yesterday was the fact that the incredible amount of chaos that swirls around these two kids actually provokes me on their behalf. No one should have to put up with what they do from the less stable members of our fandom, and from the paps and the rags. Some people might argue that it goes with the territory. I call foul on that. In my living memory, the last time that this kind of sheer frenzy existed was when that four lads from Liverpool crossed the pond. The Beetles wanted it. They sought it out. Rob and Kristen? No, not so much.
In any event it makes me feel…protective of them. And lets look at that emotion for a minute. How much of a push would it take for that emotion to go to a bad place. To turn a fan into a fanatic? To turn a wanna be protector into someone that they need to be protected from? (sighs) It's no damn wonder the kids need personal body-guards.
Much as I enjoy their work, and the little glimpses that we're permitted to have into their private lives, I wouldn't trade places with them for anything. Together or separately, I hope they find peace and happiness.
R.
Thanks for the insightful comment, Rick. I definitely associate with the protectiveness over these kids, and how tenuous the difference between that and something less desireable can be.
"nothing I do, say, wish, or hope for has any bearing on how their life unfolds."
great eloquent post.