Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Fic Recs For Rob

As I’m sure you can imagine, we might read a few Rob interviews here and there. We’re always a little skeeved out intrigued when confronted with Rob mentioning reading FanFic in these interviews. Part of us hopes that he’s actually kidding and that he’s never read FanFic (and particularly not the freak-ish shit he’s mentioned, like RobStu FanFic.) Another part of us is ridiculously curious about whether or not he liked what he read, or if he finished a story.

Seeing as how we’ll never get the answer to any of these questions, and even if we were to meet Rob would be too fucking spastic cool to ask him about FanFic, we decided to recommend some good TwiFics for him to read instead of the skeevy, slash-y, RPF he’s mentioned.

Now I pimp a lot of fics to my three whores (*winks* at Moflo, Dianne, and Sam), and Chonga is a much more established pimp than I with untold legions of whores in her stable, so we didn’t want to rec anything too obvious. As much as we want these recs to be for Rob, the actual audience will in fact be you. And thank goodness! Rob should be in bed with Stew, not lurking on our blog. So without further ado:

Link To High Anxiety
C2R: The quality of the writing in this one is like that of a Wide Awake or an Emancipation Proclamation. That means it’s really fucking good. I’d go so far as to say it’s tied for my second-favorite fic of all time. The angst is exquisite. Edward is barely existing under some very messed-up legal constraints that are not only totally unfair, but also completely impossible. The un-resolved sexual tension in the early chapters is almost crippling. You’ll also learn valuable skills like how to use the “Create-A-Mate” kit; so you too can make an authentic, vibrating, sparkly replica of your wang. It will also teach you every conceivable way to be romantic with and/or get your girlfriend off without actually touching her.
Chonga: There is a lot more to this fic than the lemons. NO DOUBT there is plenty more. Both Edward and Bella are spunky, funny, passionate and extremely caring about one another. But make no mistake, these two haven’t had sex yet, much less made out and this is easily one of the sexiest fics out there. B/c of this Rob should most definitely read this sucker. It embodies every pic of eye sexing we’ve seen of Rob and Kristen, every shoot where they have looked fucking fantabulous and every cute moment we have seen them have, especially the ones from Twilight Tuesday. This is a high school after all. And this Edward flounts authority whenever he gets the chance, making Rebelward very much like Rob – he does not like being told that to do. Even his I love you, is not your run of the mill one:

“I fucking love you”

And he always says it with every ounce of passion and longing he has for Bella. I think Rob wouldn’t mind doing this version of the Twilight world, either. He sure would have some very interesting scenes with Kristen. Mold a cock, anyone?

C2R: GREAT story from three points of view: Bella’s, Edward’s, & Jasper’s. Bella has been crushing on Edward for 3 years and he never noticed her. Edward’s been in a meaningless and boring relationship with Rosalie the entire time. Jasper is Rosalie’s bad-boy, sexy brother who manages to pick-up Bella. Starts out B/J but becomes E/B eventually. VERY well written, and WHO KNEW that B/J could be so freakin’ hot?!? What will happen to Jasper once Edward and Bella get together? Will Bella regret her choice?
Chonga: So many reasons for Rob to read this fic. To me, the biggest one is to read about the unrequited love Bella and Edward have for each other while they are both with other people. I think he could really relate here. And oh the angst is delicious on both their parts and just the fact that they’re in high school gives them cause to misbehave – drinking, smoking weed and exploring sexual boundaries, even if it’s not with each other. That is usually enough to turn me off a fic, but it is clearly understandable in this story. Both of these characters are extremely mature and clearly fated to be with one another eventually. *cough*Sound-familiar-Rob?*cough* And then when they’re finally together, it’s amazing! They’re in perfect sync. And they’re very appreciative of the fact they came to never having gotten together. Their first kiss is almost the red carpet display all Robsten shippers secretly pine for. Another great thing about this fic is the supporting cast Bella and Edward have. The rest of the Twilight Saga characters are really fleshed out and totally deserve either 100% of your hate, love or laughter as would be in Emmetts case. As Edwards older brother he is the perfect foil to Edward’s all-around-good-guy. Emmett is bold, crass and hilarious while dispensing brotherly advice to Edward:
(Edward talking to Emmett about his ex-girlfriend Rosalie):“So, then she should be happy now, that she’s free to be with someone that isn’t a total cock.”

(Emmett):“Right, but it’s not that easy. Takes time and shit, and that’s where Emmett comes in. Shoulder to cry on, baby.”

He winked and I sneered back because it was still fucking weird talking about him laying game with my ex-girlfriend.

“Don’t be a bitch, you’ve got your little soul mate now, don’t worry about Rosalie and me.”

C2R: Very interesting story with a really cool Bella. She’s an art-student, and Edward is an English major who has already graduated and has embarked on a Jack Keroac-esque motorcycle trip to gain life experience which he can then write about. They meet when Edward loses a bet and has to become a life model (nude modeling) for a month. He models for Bella’s class and sparks fly. This Edward is SUPER cool, calm, and collected. Not to men
tion, HOT, as he always is. Learn lots about how to prep canvases for painting, and collecting art supplies. Will Edward scrap his trip to hang-out with Bella? Will Bella ever get-up the nerve to let him know that she’s REALLY into him? This really made me want to learn how to paint, even though I do not have an artistic bone in my body for anything but musical instruments.

Chonga: Bella’s artistic integrity is similiar to Rob’s (and Kristens) when it comes to films. Bella’s personality is a strong personality and is similiar to descriptions of Kristen. You could almost smell Bella’s paints, reading the setting descriptions of this fic. Edward is a romantic character in the sense that he is very much into writing, likes to take off on his motorcyle to reflect on life, its meaning and his place in the world. I think Rob would relate to that, even want to do it himself. Despite the fact these two are crushing on each other in silence, they have a lovely rapor and talk very easily to each other. I love the way they’re spending time together and getting closer and closer. Also the sexual tension b/c the two is ridiculous. Edward doesn’t do a thing to make a pass at Bella and I would like to think of Rob getting frustrated at this too, yelling, “Edward, man up, you pussy! It’s over with Tanya!”

(BPOV)More than I should have, I enjoyed the feeling of his arm around my shoulders, his warm lanky body pressed into mine. Even once we reached the shelter of the doorway, Edward’s arm lingered a moment, as if he had forgotten it was there. I felt its loss when he finally lifted it and moved away to stand at a more socially acceptable distance from me.

We shook the rain off and went indoors.

As we headed down the long corridor, he cleared his throat and asked, “Did you want me to keep my pants on today?”I’d already been considering what pose I’d want from him if he were nude.

“No, take it all off,” I said

So there you go, Rob. Some GOOD stories to read and not the creepy stuff you’ve been Googling at 2:00 a.m. when you’ve had too many HotPockets and Heinekens and can’t sleep.

XOXOX

Love, C2R & Chonga

Posted by at 12:01 am Tags: , , , , , ,


14 comments

  1. Anonymous December 15 2009 @ 12:08 am

    Love all three of your recs! Awesome job girls! May I give a shout out to University of Edward Masen – just because I love it so!!! Read it people, you won't regret it!

    xoxo

    Dana

  2. Lins December 15 2009 @ 12:10 am

    I am a fanfic addict…but seriously, I have not read any of the above. Would have to put this on my list!

  3. Moflo December 15 2009 @ 12:14 am

    awww my pimp mentioned me in her blog! <3 :D (or is it my crack dealer?) hahaha

  4. Dianne December 15 2009 @ 12:25 am

    Let me first say:
    My name is Dianne Downs and I am a ff whore.

    Now that I have that out of the way, I LOVE THIS POST!! Not just because I was mentioned in it but because I am a ff whore (see above). However, it amazes me that my ff pimp has not rec'd Art School Confidential to me….wtf?

    Awesome post ladies! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!

  5. Rain December 15 2009 @ 4:43 am

    Gawd! I am so effing behind on my fics, it's pathetic! Thanks for the recom you guys :)

  6. happilyeverafter December 15 2009 @ 8:38 am

    These are 3 that I haven't read (amazingly, considering my serious addiction to ff!). Just bookmarked them all :) Great post as usual!

  7. Ames December 15 2009 @ 8:40 am

    More reading material! YAY!!! <3 <3 <3

  8. Kristabella December 15 2009 @ 8:45 am

    I haven't read these three either but was hearing so much good stuff on all of them. Started another post-it of "to read" lol.

  9. crryysstaal December 15 2009 @ 10:15 am

    I seriously need to find the time to read fics. sigh, you 2 always know which ones to read. solid post my lovers. OH, i love you. <3

  10. Anonymous December 15 2009 @ 9:39 pm

    Thanks..I have become a fan fic addict!!!!lol.. and some that I am currently reading are on hold so I need more to ease my wait for the others lol..

  11. Anonymous December 18 2009 @ 6:31 am

    I started reading "son of a preacher man" last night at around half nine and stayed up till half 6 in the morning to finish it!! I felt like a 15 year old again, reading romantic stuff all night, but this is so well written, its a true page turner.
    Thanks for the rec gals:-)
    XX M

  12. xsmalltowngirlx December 19 2009 @ 10:57 pm

    Hello!!! :)
    Ok… I need something to read now that I'm done w/ school… And I think I will start w/ High Anxiety! Thanks for the recs C2R and Chonga! :)

  13. happilyeverafter December 21 2009 @ 4:55 pm

    Thanks to both of you pushers, I'm in the midst of High Anxiety angst right now & I love it sfm! So thank you for feeding my addiction :) I have to bookmark the other 2 & get to them next. As always, awesome blog post! xoxo

  14. coco December 22 2009 @ 2:31 am

    thanks for rec'ing high anxiety to me! luv them and will for sure read the rest, just need time as always :) <3

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