Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Robcat Fantasies
Our apologies to Kristen Stewart. We love you, and we think it’s awesome that you and Rob are so happy together. But, because you’re living our dream, we’re excluding you from the ‘sten’ in Robsten Love today, and focusing on the ‘Rob’.
I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’m old enough to have been Rob’s babysitter, but hey, a woman’s sexual peak is at 40, so why not lust after a sexy 23 year old Brit? It’s also no secret that many of us Robcats are married (for a really long time) with children, and sometimes you just need a little help keeping things exciting in the bedroom. So Rob and Kristen, if you’re reading this, we know you don’t need any help with that, so why don’t you go practice? Right now. The rest of you have been warned…
SpunkMe told me a hilarious story the other day about a co-worker’s husband who admitted he had read YGMCTG and enjoyed it! He also said that he was reaping the benefits of his wife reading fanfic (ifyaknowwhatimsayin). Poor man, he has no clue that later that night, his wife admitted to Spunk that while she was in bed with her hubs, she was really thinking of Rob! Don’t we all, sista’, don’t we all? *raises hand*
So, this got us to thinking, what are our top Robert Pattinson fantasies?
13. Fratboy Rob – You grind on the dance floor. You share cigs. You lick salt off of every publicly acceptable body part before downing 8 tequila shots and sucking the lemon from between his lips. You both stagger back to the frat house where he decides to christen the pool table. You chalk up his cue. Rob lines the shot up perfectly. Eight ball in the corner pocket…
12. Police Officer Rob – You’re lost, in the middle of nowhere. You see the red and blue lights in your rear view mirror. You pull over onto a side road. Officer Rob comes to the window. He asks for your ID and registration. [CENSORED By C2R: DUDE!! WOAH!!] He says he’s had enough and slaps the handcuffs on. You asked what took him so long…
11. Fireman Rob – Hello 911? Could you please send fireman Rob over with his big hose? I’ve got this fire down below that needs putting out?
10. Cabana boy Rob – Shirtless Rob. Wet Rob. Bending over the pool ass candy Rob. Rubbing hot oil all over your body. Rob, you missed a spot right here between [BLEEP]
9. Porsche Rob – Taking him in the car for a test drive at night and riding his stick while he drives really fast.
8. Executive Rob – Why Mr. Pattinson, of course I don’t mind working late to go over these SPREADsheets. Is there any DICtation I can take for you?
7. Bartender Rob – After sitting at the bar for 4 hours, eye sexing and ordering 3 Sex on the Beach drinks and 2 Blow Jobs to drop the hint, he takes you out to the alley by the dumpster…
6. Handyman Rob – He brings over his lumber and can really hammer that nail. Hit it again Rob. Harder. And he has the best screws – they really fit tight into the holes…
5. Tattoo Artist Rob – Clipped Wings & Inked Armor. Nuff said!
4. Urban Cowboy GQ Rob – I’m a country girl, so the thought of him climbing off his horse at sundown with that musky, outdoors scent, throwing me up against [CENSORED By C2R: Damn SMOM! TMI!!! That's so hot though...]…all I can say is, I agree, save a horse girls…
3. Musician Rob – Obviously, there’s not much of a stretch for this one. Although at this show, he’s sans clothes and Mr. Patty takes the spotlight. Maybe Rob can use more than his fingers to play the piano…
2. Headmaster Pattinson – Yes, Mr. Pattinson, I have been sent to your office everyday this week. I don’t know why I keep getting into trouble. I just can’t seem to control myself. Maybe you should control me instead. I do need to be given after school detention, and a few whacks with your paddle. Is there anything I can do to you to earn extra credit?
1. Vampire Rob – Because honestly, isn’t this our ultimate fantasy? Hot, endless, head board breaking, feathers flying fun with Robward?
As always, thanks to my pervy sister, IfOnly and to my Rob porn dealer, SpunkMe.
Oh Smom. You dirty, dirty girl…I love that about you though. And for the record, my favorite is the Headmaster Rob. Probably because the picture illustrating that one is SO HOT.
If only we clone all of these…sigh.
Great job, as always!! I am sure your husband must always be smiling
I vote for Tattooartist Rob, closely followed by WetRob…grrrrr.
Ok…I'm…uhm…a little embarrassed right now because…SMom, I didn't know you could read minds…I better be careful what I think from now on…lol!
Awesome post!! Love it!!
Wow. Great post. I pick TattooRob followed by FratBoyRob. Well that is my pick for today anyway.
-me2
CR2 – you censored out the best parts!
Great job on the final post girls. I think I'm going to go ahead and put in for my two week vacay and spend a night with each Rob. There are 13 so which one do I pick again for the last night. Decisions, decisions….hee hee. (Ps – best vacay eva'!)
XO – IfOnly
LOVE IT SMOM! ..
im off to fantasise a little bit more !
naughty girl! LOL …
love the choices .. my favorite by the way is executive rob .. thud
ROTFL!!! So true so true!
So true, raises hand. Uhmm can I have the uncensored manuscript of this post haha! Bartender Rob and Vampire Rob do it for me.
Headmaster Rob, yummmmmm but I gotta say, Clipped Wings & Inked Armor is one of the hottest ff's I've ever read. There's just something about tattoo's & piercings…in fact, I've dated a "pierced" guy, ifyaknowwhatimeanandithinkyado…..So, imagining Rob like that…whew…..
my side hurts, i can't stop laughing! the distription of the 40 yr old mom, wow were you talking about me? i can't pick a fav rob, there all so yummy.