Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Rob & Kristen: Prison Games…
So everyone is wondering are Rob and Kristen getting bored in seclusion?
With not many sightings or pics lately, we’ve decided that Rob is being held prisoner in his hotel room by us Kristen the paparazzi. For most of us, this would be a dream come true. Rob. Held prisoner. In his hotel room. By us.
We all agree that we would have no difficulty finding things to occupy Rob’s time. But apparently after months of humping like bunnies, Rob and Kristen are looking for other activities while they are being held prisoner. So after some gutter deep thoughts, we came up with a list of suggestions:
• order cheeseburgers from room service
• play connect the dots with Rob’s freckles
• practice sexy poses for future photoshoots
• braid new friendship bracelets
• knit beanies
• practice one new position a day from the Kama Sutra
• watch NC-17 movies and “be productive”
• write a duet
• read You Get Me Closer To God and act out the lemons
• practice speaking Commanche
• build a Heinekin beer bottle pyramid
• prank call Nick
• make a sex tape
• bake cupcakes
• play naked Twister
• cut your toenails
• dance naked to Van Morrison songs
• discuss the political and socioeconomic ramifications of peace in the Middle East
• play strip Scrabble
• play with the ‘make your own dildo kit’ (you know – for when you are separated by filming)
• play the RaoR Drinking Game by JAG.
• have Rob put on his ‘best sexy face’ and read the phonebook to Kristen
• knock on the other hotel room doors and say “housekeeping, you want me to fluff your pillow?”
• have Rob teach Kristen to say “Lit’rally” in a perfect British accent
• actually take a shower (together)
• have Kristen teach Rob the correct words for the different parts of your car – like the “wipy thing” and “windscreen”
• teach Kristen all the naughty French words
• tell Kristen if she lets you do that thing she’s been holding out on, that you will let her wear your new Stoli shirt
• get on your fav internet sites (like Random Acts of Rob, Spunk Ransom, and Robsten Love) and leave funny comments under the names KBitch and Robert
• have Kristen teach Rob how to run without looking like Phoebe from Friends
Thanks to SpunkMe for supplying the amazing .gifs and to IfOnly for her twisted humor!
OMG…that's awesome!! But we could also have Rob play his own trumpet while he's held up in there…oh, the unicorns, the unicorns….lol
You girls can't be more funnier (like Chandler would say). Thanks to you now they have plenty of ideas to enjoy thenselves, even if Summit decide to make of Breaking Dawn two movies!
OMG!…That's so hilarious! One more – Have them made their own list of sexual fantasies! hint hint at The List!:D
that was such a fun post! pure win. oh what i wouldn't give to hear Rob teach her to say “Lit’rally” in a perfect British accent..swoon. and the knocking on the doors, teaching rob how to run w/o looking like phoebe and the friendship bracelets lol..so awesome! thanks for the giggles
Soccermom, Spunk, & IfOnly. I love you. Hilarious lol
OMFG! THAT'S JUST HILARIOUS!!!! I LOVE IT! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
great post, girls! SO FUNNY!!! I loved it! *play connect the dots with Rob's freckles …LMFAO Spunk, I loved your gifs… especially the one where he's checking her out and licking his lips… he really has a dirty mind… haha
omg I love this list. it is great. wonder if they do any of it?
I learn a new thing every day…."make your own dildo kit" …didnt know they exsisted. AND..what is wrong with the word "windscreen"? Besides this ….a very funny blog. I'm sure you can think of more things for Rob and Kristen to do…can we have part 2?
ummm…can I join those 2 for almost all these?
I could teach them to knit beanies like a pro… 
Total crack-up! I love the last one…
OMG!! LMAO!!!! I love it…espacially the knit beanies part LOL!
OMFG – Hilarious!! I laughed the loudest at "lit'raly" and "Phoebe from Friends" but they are all brilliant! Love you ladies! xoxo
LMFAO!! Great post Smom, Spunk!! Love it!
"make your own dildo kit" LMAO! WIN!
Jena (I can't figure out how to comment here, when I do it says "your request could not be processed) so I'm using Anonymous, but I'm really Jena! LOL!
this post is AWESOME lol lol i love this so much
u guys are hilarious please please please find a way so that r&k; can read this they must be blushing lol does anybody know his mail or whatever..pleaseeee try to send this..
my favourite is practice a new position a day from kamasutra and knock knock from house keeping LOL LOL anyways i doubt he'll try new positions he's british after all dont u think maybe he'll always stick to missionary position :p
Good job on the post girls! Thanks including some of my twisted humor! XOXO – IfOnly
Excellent post you guys!! I love it!!! <3
Now that I've recovered from laughing so hard I snorted my coffee out my nose, I will finally comment.
SMom and IfOnly – you are all kinds of awesome. That list was fantastic! If Rob and Stewie read nothing else on the net, they should read this. Read it, copy, paste and save it, and print it out and tape it to their hotel room door. It'll be like their own little to-do list.
Thanks for sharing the snark and wit with us girls. XOXO
DanaB
LOL! Hilarious! Loveet! More ideas…
1. learn how to use sewing machine
2. shoe cleaning day: KStew's Converse & Rob's Nikes
3. Kristen shaving Rob's beard
4. make an inventory list of Rob's clothes
5. The Hair Challenge: Rob practicing to make his hair under one minute
6. write their own Robsten fanfic
7. make their own Robsten photo manip
I luv your whacky ideas. I bet they are doing exactly those things, esp the Kama-Sutra stuff haha.
"Rob runs exactly like Phoebe" -holy smokes haha
Shaui
Already blogged about your new blog! I luv it! You guys are amazing!
http://robstenation.blogspot.com/2009/10/robsten-love-blog.html
Toodles, Shaui
Ok, I am totally ROTFL! This is just awesome! LOL
Thanks for making my happy place even HAPPIER, didn't think that would be possible…here are my ideas:
1. Install a karaoke machine in their hotel room and sing songs together.
2. Rehearsal for the up-coming Breaking Dawn, especially the part on Isle Esme:)