Tuesday, October 13, 2009
LAINEY! WHY hast thou FORSAKEN us?!?!?
If you are a passenger on the Good Ship Robsten there are two Titans of gossip you follow regularly: our beloved Ted Casablanca from The Awful Truth, and Elaine L of Lainey Gossip. If you’ve been paying attention the last few months it is pretty easy to determine why Ted would be revered by Robstens everywhere. He has made no secret of his love for Rob & Kristen together, and has turned gossiping about their relationship into the cornerstone of his entire column.
Lainey on the other hand; her face in all likelihood features prominently on shipper dartboards worldwide. She rarely misses an opportunity to be a venomous harpy and spew disdain for Twilight, TwiHards, and Rob. Her only saving grace for many in the fandom is her girlcrush on Kristen Stewart. Her saving grace for us is the fact that she is the original Robsten shipper. You’re probably wondering if we’re thinking of the same Lainey. I assure you that we are.
I was sucked into the black hole of the universe that is the Twilight Saga back in March when Twilight was released on DVD. I mentioned to my husband one night around that time that he should “steal that vampire movie off the internet so I can look at that guy for a couple of hours” as I had been avoiding all such hysteria up until that point, and was clearly too cool to spend any of my own money on such things. A couple of weeks later and I own all the books and the movie, and am at the Googling-and-YouTubing the-shit-out-of-Rob stage of the addiction when I am confronted with a curious debate online:
SHE said Rob & Nikki Reed were friends with benefits, HE said Rob & Kristen Stewart were seriously into each other. My first introduction to both Ted & Lainey came in the form of Robki vs Robsten and I. WAS. HOOKED. It wasn’t difficult to get into Ted’s cheering section. There is something to be said for not making your readership feel like giant assholes for being fans of the current pop-culture phenomenon. And let’s be real: Nikki Reed is one hot mama, however I haven’t seen a single picture of Rob & Nikki that even comes close to touching the chemistry & hotness of any of the pictures of Rob with the Stew.
It was around this time (April/May 09′) that Lainey really began getting into the swing of her Twilight/TwiHard/Rob tangents. OH what a difference a year makes. If you were following her around the same time in 2008 you would have heard a very different tune. A tune sung by a girl who not only loves Kristen: but Twilight, Rob, and Robsten as well. Some excerpts:
The Twilight Set Visit – Published April 16th, 2008
…she has crafted a story so compelling and addictive, almost embarrassingly so, that you will find yourself whipping through the first book and not stopping until the final page of the third. Then you’ll probably pre-order the fourth in advance of its release in August.
Rob is lovely. Very unassuming, totally unaware of what’s about to hit. Completely oblivious to the fact that he’s about to become Orlando Bloom
The accent. He almost buries it for the role, leaving just a hint of Edward’s old school lilt, and the effect will definitely quiver you if you were a fan at the start anyway.
About Rob and Kristen – Published November 17th, 2008
Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart together are magic. Magic.
He is friendly, he has great manners, he approaches on his own, unprompted “Hi, I’m Rob” without the usual reluctance towards the media so commonly found among his peers.
To all those Twilight superfans who are pining for a real life romance between the actors playing Edward and Bella, it’s probably not a stretch to believe in the possibility. And if I were to indulge in a little squealing myself, they would totally make a great couple.
As he looked on beside her intently waiting for her answers, she stumbled and stammered ….the textbook behaviour of a girl – to borrow from Stephenie Meyer – in love with a guy trying desperately not to show it.
Better Than The Books – Published November 18th, 2008
What you see onscreen you’ll want in real life. For them to get together… which, like Rachel and Ryan, could be a possibility
Twilight On The Move – Published November 19th, 2008
Now that she has the boyfriend with her, Twilight superloser hopes of the two eventually Notebooking it are probably delayed. Or not. These things have an interesting way of working themselves out. Sometimes it takes a buffer to bring you closer.
About Twilight the Movie – Published November 20th, 2008
Robert Pattinson is so heartbreakingly goodlooking it’s ridiculous.
Patrick Dempsey’s hair has NOTHNG on Rob Pattinson. His hair at prom will send you to pieces. I promise.
Rob Pattinson’s happy face is completely intoxicating.
If Rob Pattinson is on your Freebie Five, the suit at prom will give you, to borrow from Borat, a sexytime explosion.
Truly, these two are magic together. So magic you can’t help it. I can
Brilliant! Maybe she'll read it and come back from the dark side, lol.
Wow…I wasn't around for most of all that but let me tell you…very, very well said! Robsten lovers will always welcome any believer back with open arms…you left the door wide open…BRAVO CEE!!
I thought I was crazy when I remembered Lainey going on about these two last year. Thanks for putting this together. Interesting stuff…..:)
Oh my goodness…quoting Lainey's own words against her.This is going to get interesting. I'm going to go and get my popcorn, sit back and watch the show. LOL
Well done C2R!!! We can see that the change of behavior is dramatic…
I love love love that you blogged about this. I have always wondered why she had a change of heart. She never even comments about them together now except in a cynical way. She's probably bitter that she believed Nikki and Ted got the real story. Great post. Keep up the good work guys. Love your stuff.
Great post!
What I wouldn't give to watch her face as she read this. We all know you're hiding something Lainey!!
CR2, you are my hero…well, heroine to be more precise …I hadn't started reading Lainey 'til the production of New Moon began…so i didn't even know she was once a Robsten shipper. When i started reading, she's already full of Robki s**t already…i was under the impression (by what Ted once said) that she's "Nikki's local pap friend in Vancouver "…maybe i was wrong. anyway, GREAT POST! I real want to see her face when she read this…
*claps for Cee*
That was awesome girl. Robert and Nikki *ppfffft* there is nothing there. Not-one-single-sparkle.
I've read a lot of that… but GREAT JOB pulling it all together!! I really do wonder what happened to make her do a 180…
Awesome, Cee – fantastic post!!! Love seeing all that old Lainey-fangirling stuff. Seems like a completely different person from the one who blogs now about how stupid the fandom is. It makes it a little easier to overlook all of her ridicule knowing that she was once just as much a fan of & rooting for Robsten as I am now! And you're right, we would welcome her back with open arms …well, arms at our sides at least
YES! Thank you for putting it ALL together. Hmmm… methinks Lainey's got some 'splainin to do.
Great post. It's nice to vist the internet wayback machine. But not so nice for Lainey, non?
Why would Lainey change her tune regarding Robsten (when she was one of the first to predict the inevitable)?
You mentioned her girlcrush on Kristen. She also, obviously has an in with someone on in the Twilight franchise – maybe not KStew herself, but maybe, just maybe, someone close to her.
As Lainey noticed, Kristen had the hots for Rob from the beginning (and the feeling was mutual), but obviously Kristen was conflicted as she had a long-time boyfriend.
That relationship was doomed from the first time Rob came into her life, but she couldn't make the break. I think she hung on to the doomed relationship with MA as a sort of security blanket (same thing with Nikki Reed).
She couldn't make a clean break from MA, I think, because she knew she'd end up ricocheting right to Rob.
Also, I think there was an element of being the "different – not your average Hollywood girl" thing that Kristen has going. It is SO cliched to fall for your leading man. It's also cliched for the newly minted A-list actress to dump the old boyfriend who's much lower on the food chain for the co-star who's an A-lister also.
Anyway, she hid behind the now-tattered relationship with the old boyfriend and her "friend" Nikki and used them as a shield to avoid having to deal with the possibility of a relationship with Rob.
(More on next post….)
But the attraction was there and strong, such that she had trouble being in public with him. Lainey picked up on that part.
Then Kristen was seeing less and less of the bf (and when she was seen with him, they looked miserable). And there was always someone else with them to act as buffer (Nikki, anyone?)
And then Ted C. starts the Robsten thing on fire with his first Blind Vice, which is obviously about Kristen. This is followed by many, many other Robsten posts. The doo doo hits the fan.
Cooincidently, Lainey's tune changes. And Lainey gets all these nice scoops about filming when things start up in vancity. And her paps seem to know where to be to get the good shots of cast members.
And, interestingly, Mikey isn't around much for filming (unlike Twilight). And when Kristen is out, Rob is always part of the group.
BF shows up one weekend and Lainey's paps know just where they'll be and we get photos of the "happy" couple, along with the buffer, Nikki. And a smug Lainey telling us how happy Kristen and Mikey are. Why? How about an agreement to help take the heat off the Robsten thing? Lainey gets inside scoop, her paps get photos, and Kristen gets a little relief from the speculation. A little.
Then her birthday. No Mikey. Lots of Rob. The every weekend – dinners, parties, fun. No oregano, lots of Rob. Rob leaves town for a meeting in LA (end of April) and guess who shows up? The long lost and unlamented "boyfriend" and who has the pix and scoop. Lainey. And she taunts with tales of a romantic weekend and set vists up until thursday. None of which is corroborated by set stalkers. The only thing with proof is the fakey, "happy" photos on Saturday of Kstew and oregano walking around town.
Why would Kristen do this? Don't know, but I think she couldn't take the heat and couldn't make a clean break. Sad for Mikey. She owed him more than that. But the, he went along with it. Why? He's a beta male loser? Perhaps. Maybe he did it in exchange for some movie roles being offered to him. And, maybe he cares for Kristen (and she's used to people caring for her – look at Nikki).
But Lainey's helping to cool off some of the Robsten heat.
As very willing as she is to speculate about other possible Hollywood couples (Photo Assumption, anyone?), she's curiously deferential to Kristen. Even when the girl obviously can't let go of the old boyfriend and make a clean break in order to take up with the new.
Compare that to how she rakes Justin Timberlake over the coals for his inability to make a clean break from Shelfy (Jessica Biel).
Within two days of Mikey's alleged departure from Vancity, there's the Sam Bradley concert and the reported making out backstage. Robsten was out together and looking very close. Lainey is mocking as usual.
Then the cast party where Robsten leave in a limo driven by a fan at 3:30 am and get dropped off at Rob's hotel. Photos from the driver surface online more than a week later and we see that they are dropped off at ROB's hotel.
Next day Lainey is quick to report that sometime during the week before the party and after the Bradley concert, kristen moved out of her hotel and into Rob's "for security purposes". You see, the twi-hards are soooooo intrusive, that kstew just has to move into the hotel that the most hunted man on the planet is staying at. And she doesn't feel the urge to move until filming is about 2/3 over. Of course, this does nothing to quell the rumours that they're hooking up, but Lainey tried. Oh, how she tried. LOL.
Then, of course they've been more and more public with their relationship, including being together at the Charlie Hotel and Chateau Marmont, etc….But Lainey's not touching that. Nosiree.
I think Lainey is operating as a "fixer" of sorts. At this point, she's not into hard core denial, but she will not speculate at all, and she's certainly not hesitant to speculate about others in Hollywood.
She also likes to poke a stick in the eye of "twi-hards" even though she's been one herself. She fancies herself an intellectual sort though, and being a twilight fan is hard to reconcile with her intellectual pretensions. Do note how she goes on about those celebs who've gone to university and are well read.
I think that right now, Kristen is in the process of achieving retrograte singleness, if you will. I think things kind of got away from her when she finally gave in and hooked up with Rob and it looked like she literally bounced from the old boyfriend right into Rob's hotel in a matter of a few days. With the ramped up attention on her and Rob during Eclipse filming, they've gone more underground and seem to be being more careful in public. And Lainey's right there to help by ignoring the obvious. And she keeps getting the good pix and the inside scoop.
Of course, Lainey couldn't keep from attracting Ebola virus to the cast with her pet Nikki hooking up with and Ebola ex….
Oh Lainey, you're playing with Ebola fire by continuing to deny Robsten.
love ted's pix here, he makes me smile and yes those were the times when ted even wrote an article about dueling bloggers who's telling the truth and who's lying and how it was a soap opera and now lainey is all quite..oh lainey, im sure u still squee with ur bff regarding robsten..u just can't publish it
ps. great post kat, well said